The ominous music buzzes on the teevee. The deep voice informs you that something dire is happening. Or perhaps the music is upbeat, and a friendly female voice just this side of a telephone sex operation comes on. What can it be? We all know that these are nothing more than political ads. The same old crap we see year after year.

Where does this stuff come from? The short answer is that some of it comes from here:

http://www.spotrunner.com/ads/ads.aspx?industryid=LLM

For the low, low price of $499 you can have your own ad promoting your place in the star-spangled firmament of public office. Or you can go with how lousy your opponent is, if that works for you. Right wing, left wing, bipartisan working together wing, they have it all.

How many ads come from this site? Generally, these are for local politicos, so if you want to count them up you should stick to cable or late night. The ads themselves may be available for rock bottom prices, but the air time on the tube is still a bit steep.

It’s not all politics, of course. They sell ads for pitching jewelry, cars, and real estate among other things. Hey, it’s better than a bus bench.

If you’re running for office and need a boost, perhaps you might want to give it a try. After all, is that deep-thinking multi-point plan you’ve been shopping door to door really making any headway? Take to the air, and tell people you’re happy, dedicated, and unthreatening. Use a nice generic ad to let everyone know – you’re not going to do anything original. That’s a great reason for them to get out and vote for you.

Remember, you heard it here first! Well, you’ve seen these all thousands of times before, actually. But I gave you the straight story on where to find this stuff. In a very unthreatening way, of course.