It’s one of those things that happens on The Daily Show. A perfectly normal roasting of a “Good Morning America” segment on Michael Jackson hysteria was being pulled off by … well, by merely playing the self-parodying thing. Just when it didn’t seem like it could get any stranger, a man was introduced as a “Celebrity Gravesite Expert”.
Why would someone get such a handle? I’m guessing it’s for the business cards, certainly a lot of fun at parties, interviews, and (ideally) celebrity funerals. While I’ve gone on and on about the role of specialization in a developed society, I have to confess one thing never really occurred to me until just now:
This could be a great source of comedy.
Personally, I know I’m a bit boring when it comes to titles. I’ve always thought that “Senator” was the best thing to stuff next to your name, but that’s partly because it’s about the wackiest thing I can think of. This means I’m either no fun or, based on what I know about Senators, a lot more fun than you might think.
Watching a show about the creation of Spongebob featured a lot of information from Jerry Beck, introduced to us as an “Animation Historian”. That sounds like a real enough title, but in the end isn’t he just a guy who know a lot about cartoons? Maybe I’m being unnecessarily glib here, but I spent a lot of time wat… er, studying these in my youth, and I know upon whom the anvil falls, if you get my drift. I think this title is one that I’d really like to have if for no other reason than it gives me a great excuse to do the voices.
My daughter tells me that an aquarium had a problem with one of their feature fish, who was born with a deformed mouth. You and I know that one solution to this is called “lemon juice marinade”, but being an aquarium they decided instead to call in a “Fish Dentist”. Yes, they exist. I don’t know if the fish wound up with braces and all the other fish at school (haha!) made fun of him or not.
It’s not just the titles sometimes that are fun – it’s the gig.
If I were to specialize like this, I think that ultimately one of the best gigs I’ve ever seen was Shelby Foote’s role as the standard Civil War Historian. He had the facial hair, which was always very authentic, but the relaxed way of telling a joke that almost starts a campfire in your mind that really sold it. He’s been dead for a while now, so perhaps I should have studied more about the Civil War when I was young. But there was this potential to star in Animation History that was calling me at the time, and … sigh.
I’m sure are a lot of other jobs and titles that I haven’t thought of yet, things that are so silly that they really jump out at you as the most ridiculous gig you ever heard. Like “Secretary of the Treasury,” for example. But what’s the wackiest gig or handle you’ve ever heard of? Let us all know in the comments!