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No Time for Laughs

What is Trump’s plan to get the United States out of trillions in debt?
Up it to quadrillions of dollars, then declare bankruptcy. He’s a successful businessman.

All kidding aside, it was one Hell of a week. We found out that Mike Flynn did indeed “flip” to give evidence against Trump, although we have yet to learn exactly what he knows. And the Senate rushed through a tax bill scribbled in crayon at the last minute because they were not up against any deadline at all. Or is it because they see the end coming and know they needed to shove something through?

It’s not a time for a bunch of lame jokes, not at all. It’s a time for much better jokes than I have.

It has to be a joke, but what’s the punchline?

It’s worth starting with the tax bill because it was, without any doubt, the biggest, sickest joke ever passed through Congress. The deadline was completely manufactured but they felt compelled to ram it through very early on Saturday morning.

If a 5th grader had turned in a social studies report looking like this, they’d have gotten an “F”. Apply a variation on the old Jeff Foxworthy routine, “Is the Senate more competent than a 5th grader?” the answer is a pretty clear “No”.

We should be used to crazy by now, so nearly anything is possible. The completely artificial deadline had a lot to do with distraction away from the Flynn deal and probably a feeling that the administration is about to crumble. It was a last chance.

Then again, the government is likely to shut down without a deal on the debt ceiling shortly. We can reasonably expect that the same Republicans who passed this bill, with $1.4 trillion in new debt, to insist that the debt ceiling can’t be raised because we need fiscal responsibility.

I know, I know. The bad jokes keep rollin’. I’ll try to behave.

Flynn about to plead guilty. Nothing funny about this. Do you know any good lawyer jokes?

It’s hard to laugh as your nation falls into the abyss a little further, but what’s important here is that the nature of the endgame is starting to take shape. Trump was not just unusually loyal to Flynn, he went very far out of his way to keep the guy around and give him whatever he wanted. When Chris Christie refused to recommend Flynn for a job, Christie was fired from the transition team. Obama went as far as to single out Flynn as a bad actor, too. None of it mattered.

If anyone has the goods on Trump, it has to be Flynn. We will soon see exactly what this is all about.

That is the only reasonable explanation for the utter panic in Congress right now. The 2018 elections are less than a year away and it’s only likely to get worse. The generic congressional ballot has the Republicans at a -10 and Trump’s support in the long-running Gallup poll is 34%. Consider those baselines before the endgame starts.

If this sounds like good news for Democrats, you must be one of those socialists who support the liberal agenda. Sorry! I just can’t help myself with the jokes! Liberal agenda! As if Democrats stand for anything at all!

Let’s go with clowns. Clowns are funny, right?

None of this is a laughing matter, of course. There will be real suffering as this nation goes further down the rabbit hole and eventually has to confront the Trump problem one way or the other. Impeachment is unlikely until it is forced, and no president has ever been indicted while in office. Look for a long series of precedents in the road ahead.

Also in the immediate future is the Alabama senate election, which still has to favor Roy Moore. No Senator has ever been denied his seat, although some were put through the wringer before being allowed to take their position. Some have pledged to keep him out. This is a lose-lose for Republicans, as Moore is primarily opposed not to Democrats but to Senate Majority Leader McConnell (R-KY). If elected, he will be the gift that keeps on giving in many ways, both as a headache to Republicans and as a raving lunatic in the press.

So this is definitely not a time for jokes. No, they will come much easier later as we will need some comic relief when things actually get worse. But ahead of it all there will be a resolution and we have every reason to believe that the fires being lit right about now are going to eventually burn nearly everything down.

Still doesn’t seem like a time for comedy? I guess it’s not. But it’s always better to laugh than to cry, so we’ll have to do our best. Let’s try this one more time:

In a freak accident, GW Bush, Obama, and Trump are all killed at the same time. They approach the pearly gates. God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?” Bush answers: “I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!” “Very well”, says God. “Come sit to my right.”

Next, God asks Obama: “What do you believe in?” Obama answers: “I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all. “Good”, says God. “You shall sit to my left.”

Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in?” Trump answers: “I believe you’re sitting in my chair.”

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